Iron Maiden

Firstly. I have gained 3 followers! YAY! I know have a total of.... 3 followers! wheeeeee :D

Anyway, this is just a short post to announce that after my holiday is booked on monday or tuesday, I will be ordering two standing tickets for my Dad and I to go and see the amazing, the legendary, The Iron Maiden!

Oh my god, I'm so excited and am terrified that all of the standing tickets will be gone by tuesday. I saw Muse in September and although it was absolutely incredible, we were in the seating area and I would have much rather have been in the standing part because I could get more involved. My friend and I were jumping around screaming and shouting and kept tripping over the chairs and all the other seated people were...well seated. It was really annoying.

So, back to my Iron Maiden Flight 666 documentary <3

The Artist

Had a shit day at school today. I felt ill and they wouldn't let me go home so I was sent to Sick Bay. Which is a tiny room under the stairs in one of the buildings. Now I know how Harry Potter felt. I was like Alice stuck in the White Rabbit's house. It was awful, I felt like the walls were closing in on me, the ticking clock sounded so loud. Time went really fast. Then really slow. I think I'm insane. The floor started to swirl and I started to grow- I couldn't fit in that stupid room under the stairs. I started hyperventilating. Then there was noise outside, lessons were over, it was lunch. All the chatter outside seemed to snap me out of...well whatever the fuck was wrong with me. I left.

I came home and spent the evening working hard on my art. I wasn't concentrating on what I was drawing, just how I was drawing. It wasn't until I stopped and looked that I realised I had drawn a picture of an anorexic girl who was ridiculously tall. In the mirror she saw a small woman, it was only in height that she was small because she was morbidly obese. I didn't plan on drawing this. I just did. Interpret it how you will.

Eaten Alive By Psychotic Physics Fish

Okay, so I livened my day up a little bit with that title. All I have done today is cram for this stupid physics exam. I literally felt like I was drowning in circuits, static electricity, momentum and all the other stuff I pointlessly revised. Not much of it went in but I did find out something quite interesting. I freak out when I have to work in silence so I usually play some quiet music like Beethoven or Debussy or such like. Today I put my ipod on shuffle, it was really quiet but I found I worked best when I was listening to Iron Maiden! Win! I think it kind of spurred me on, with the prominent drumming and memorable riffs and tunes :)

Then, I was finally allowed to stop for dinner. After dinner I washed up and managed to get my laptop back from my Mum! (She doesn't trust me to revise with Patlopt around ¬__¬) SO now I'm done washing up, I can start writing the story whose ideas have been floating around my mind all freaking day! YAY!

Enjoy your last few hours before school tomorrow, try not to dwell on it, it's still the weekend<3

Oh, before I go, I have a message to my school and the majority of the people/teachers in it:

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKS :D

Write A Poem About Being In A Situation Where Someone Is Not Giving Good Non-Verbal Communication

I always forget to hand in my homework. Whenever you don't give it in on time, my Physcology teacher makes you hand it in the next day with a poem relevant to what we'd been learning. She chose the following subject: Write A Poem About Being In A Situation Where Someone Is Not Giving Good Non-Verbal Communication.This is what I came up with;

Your lips are moving but your eyes are elswhere.
The floor.
Your arms hang limp at your sides, your feet turned slightly inwards.
Are you nervous? I wonder. Are you scared?
This is getting uncomfortable.
Are we having a conversation? Or are you just talking?
Thats ok. I'm a good listener.
But wait! Movement!
You are not a robot after all!
Oh. You're just crossing your arms.
Your eyes haven't left the floor.
Do you want to be here?
Your lips are still moving. But are you even speaking?
You're shutting me out.
But you're locking me in.
I'm trapped.


...I didn't think. I just wrote. Please tell me what you think- if anybody is actually reading this?

Thanks :) <3

Music & Revision

So, I have this exam coming up. Physics. A resit of my GCSE which I failed. And so to bring my overall score for one of my two sciences up to a pass I need to get at least a C in Physics. I know I'm not going to get above a C and it's unlikely that I'll pass but I still need to do it. But the thing is, every year 11 has work experience on Wednesdays. I'm at Lympne Primary School, it takes me an hour to get there and an hour back. My exam is scheduled to be on Wednesday. So, the only people taking the exam are year 11s and the day the school decides to schedule it, is the one day we're not in school. I don't know whether I have to go into school for my exam and then go to Lympne but I'd have to go to school in my uniform. Do the exam which is an hour to an hour and half, then go home, get changed and get a lift or the bus to Lympne. By the time I get there, it's going to be getting on for half 12 or 1 o'clock with is silly because their school finishes at ten past 3. So, all of that rushing and journeying and I'm only going to be there for 2 hours. I'll have to find out whats happening on Monday. But until then I am banished to my room to revise all weekend, which is why, naturally, I am sat here blogging :D

I did, however, manage to sneak out this morning- Mum was at work and Dad had just gone out to his Gun Club so he sits up in a field somewhere shooting targets for hours so I had plenty of time to run down to the libary- return my book that was due back in December (It's called Torment and is the sequel to Fallen- it's a very good book and I highly reccomend it!). Then, stand in queue at W.H Smith for ages to get Vogue and then faff about trying to decide what CD to get with my HMV voucher. I ended up getting 2 for £10- The Number Of The Beast (Iron Maiden) Asylum (Disturbed).

I was pretty pleased with my purchases actually and noone noticed I'd gone out :)
Also, when I was getting the points from my receipts online (because I lost my card) I saw Korn:Greatest Hits: Volume 1 for £2.99 and free postage and packaging! Brilliant! So that should be arriving soon :)

I'd just like to say, buying CDs is so much better than downloading because if you buy the album you kind of get the full effect more than if you download it for free- plus you're helping the bands keep going! They need their fans to BUY their music, it's how they make a living and how they continue to produce the beautiful music we all love so much! So please don't download, I used to do it all the time but now I'm a strictly CD (or record) girl. Don't let CDs die out! Keep the music alive and support the artists!!


That is all. <3

Clean Teeth

I did a photoshoot at the weekend- I being the photographer and my friend as a model for my media project. I borrowed my Nan's professional camera and everything. I was really pleased with the outcome and then went home to mess about trying to take decent photos with the family digital camera which is awful. I found out that my Great Nan was a professional photographer so I'm going to save up and get a decent camera and see if I can get some good photos :)

I was going to take Photograpy A-Level at school but the school decided I needed more GCSE's and wouldn't let me -.-"
But I'm kind of glad, because the first half of the project is self portrait and I can't stand being in photos but I enjoy taking them. So I'm thinking, out of school hobby?

Here are some from the photoshoot and some others, only about 3 are edited;

My cousin- Daniel decided he wanted to be in a picture :D

Welcome To Our World

We are propelled into this world with such a fury of violence and force it is no wonder we live the way in which we do. We begin our lives in a mass of blood, pain and tears, we continue to live like this and then to die like this. Everything we touch we destroy. We cause nout but suffering and hate. And for the few good things on this earth, there are ten bad. Some try but we cannot change who or what we are and that is monsters. Murderers. And the bringers of our own destruction.

Time

I spend 95% of my time thinking 'I don't want to be here'.
And the rest of the time, not thinking at all.

The Ugly Truth

It's simple really. I hate having my photo taken. That's all there is to it. I'm very ugly and do whatever I can to avoid looking in the mirror, for example, the bathroom mirror is opposite the shower, so when I get in the shower I wrap my towel around my self then-safely hidden behind the steam I chuck it over the shower door successfully avoiding glimpsing ANY part of myself in the mirror. So, I hate logging on to facebook to find the 'Someone has tagged you in a photo' notification. Whenever that happens, I feel the blood drain from my face and my stomach starts to churn. It has gotten to the point where I end up hacking people's facebook to delete any photo I'm in, or going through my friends camera's when they aren't looking to delete any photos of myself. It's not fair. My best friend loves taking photos and always does so and I always try my hardest to avoid them, especially since I KNOW she will put them on facebook, so if it isn't bad enough that your friend has an awful photo of you, but they put it on the internet for everyone to see. I've told her I want to stay out of photos or tried to compromise with 'I'll be in the photo if you don't put it online' but she always refuses and says they are all going online. My friends have actually tried to force me to be in photos and either I get angry with them or I be in the photo then delete it later. Then I get annoyed, the person taking the photo gets annoyed and I don't know about them but that brings me down for the whole day or evening or whatever.

Noone understands. Why can't they just leave me alone ?!

Thought & Noted On A Bus

I've been swimming for so long now. It's the only thing I know. I'm not even very good at it. But it would be nice to just float for a while and watch the world go by. Treading water, just barely keeping myself from going under. But then again, maybe thats what I need. To just go under a bit. Drown a little. Maybe I need to die in order to live. Rebirth.

To Whom It May Concern

To whom it may concern, by the time you read this I will be gone.
What else can I say ?
I just don't want to be here anymore. And I refuse to believe that this is it, that there is nothing more than this because there must be. There has to be.
For us as a species to believe that we and this life are as good as it gets is so ignorant, so narrow minded. There has to be more. And I intend to find it before this cold artifical world has drained my soul and left me a weak brittle shell of who I used to be.

 I need to do this.

Please try to understand.


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A Note

So umm.. I got my laptop back from TechGuys. I sent it in for repairs because it kept jacking up. And erm, yeah, I got it back. With a new hardrive. So basically. I lost everything. I'm working to try and and get my files back from the old hardrive at the moment, so it might be a while before I post any of my own stuff but I'll probably still be posting other people's work, just stuff that inspires me, keeps me going through the hard times and such like.

I hope you're all having an awesome October holiday. Halloween this year is going to be one to remember. At least for my friends and I. I hope you guys enjoy the night ! <3




Peace.

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Edgar Allan Poe's Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.



I really love this poem.  Edgar Allan Poe is such an inspiration, I watched a documentary on his life last night and it just made me admire him so much more, he truly was an amazing poet, novelist and to be honest, a hopeless romantic.



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Sunday Morning

All was silent when I left the house at six thirty this morning. Outside I was enveloped in darkness. Not sinister though..gentle..and somewhat comforting, as though Folkestone was wrapped up in a soft warm blanket. The whole neighbourhood was asleep. After a short while, I was able to see without the aid of the street lights and a few birds began to sing. I was walking up a steep hill when I noticed that from where I was stood, the entire left side of the sky was a ruby red, the other half as pastel blue. I watched as the colours changed. The left half began to turn a deep orange as the sun rose. Meanwhile, scarlet clouds drifted to the right- across the emerald hills and the sun illuminated the ivory outline of the white horse. No camera lense could capture the astounding beauty seen through the naked eye. Nor could words on a page or brush strokes upon canvas. I suppose no one will truly understand the breath taking beauty I saw this morning. I tore my eyes way from the sky for just one second but when I looked back up, it was gone. The sky was a simple blue, littered with fluffy white clouds- as always. But beautiful, none the less.


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The Reminder

We didn’t work out, we didn’t last long
but I think of you always
when I hear that song.
It’s a constant reminder of us, you see
and how we were together
when it was just you and me.

I guess it’s fate, we’re not meant to be
But my heart is locked
and you have the key.
I don’t feel anymore, I never laugh
My heart is in two, why can’t you see ?
You have the other half and I need you with me.




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Last Night

A slender pale hand slams down on the alarm clock
switching it to snooze
she suffers from a headache, last night’s booze
still half asleep, memories quickly flood in
a broken heart,  an awful breakup
she looks in the mirror, last night’s makeup
she hears the shower switch off and a person emerges
he smiles at her and she stares, wide awake
an unfamiliar face, last night’s mistake.




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Hello, October

Red leaves crunch beneath her brown suede boots.
The air is crisp and fresh.
She stumbles over the oak trees roots
and smiles at her own clumsiness.

Warm, brown conkers litter the floor
And the sun shines bright in the October morn
she passes the local shop.
Pumpkins are for sale, autumn has been born.




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